Sits in a darken room. Notes scrawled across a once empty page. She has a dead line to meet-she will meet it of course....but until then she will leave Him wondering..
I have been asked to write to this music. A moment caught in time. A reflection of life upon still waters as the pebble is tossed, the ebbing tides do not cease to the waters edge. In but a moment one's life can change, for better or for worse depending on how one looks at it. To see music in tangible notes of hues and shapes, is a peek at our innerselves and the demons we wrestle with throughout our daily lives. There are moments in our lives, where it is up to us to grab for that 'brass ring' or not to try at all. So how do we know? We don't. Plain and simple if one does not try, one will never ever know. Thusly works with people, love, work or family. One must crawl out on that limb, whether we fall or succeed, the blessing is knowing there is someone to pick us up when we stumble. Some recognize this instantly, some do not and let it slip through their fingers like sand... I have found that 'blessing' and He has brought colour to my world no matter how I think I have tarnished it. Though my words my get mixed up and off key. The outcome is always the same. I love Him with all my heart. He is the music that my soul heeds. Together we are harmony, alone, just musical notes that sound great but have no meaning, no soul, no foundation. To love someone is unconditional, without boundaries, having never to say your sorry. For in fact the other will always know that you are sorry, humbled by the other to such an extent that there is little purpose in life but to see the other's happiness and joy. The first distinctive memory was His first "Hello." After that, well, I need not look further for the split-a-part of my soul. I hear His music. I heed His call. I will climb mountains, and swim oceans to dwell at His side. When life drags me down threatens to take me under with it....I look to Him, and all will be fine. Though I may not always show it, I maybe hard to handle, I maybe stubborn. But above all..I am in love with Him each day, not just love..but IN LOVE, there is a fine line of difference. He has shown me the way, where I thought there was none. Parted the obstacles in my path and eased load of life. There are not words to say thank you for being there. Our chance is upon us, and I am trying to grab that 'brass ring' and if I stumble and fall; He will be there to wipe away the tears and chase my fears from hope. I have no words to explain mistakes and errs of judgement. I know He understands, I see the fustration and pain at His helplessness as I fight the demons that come into my life. My only wish is that I make Him understand, that He is not alone and nor am I. That is what His music means to me, He is my life, the axis in which my world spins. And now I wish to ease His tension, clear His head and sooth all His worries, and pains away.
My ramble is done for now. Perhaps I will add more to this later, for I can not capture one moment in time with Him. I cherish each one equally, I can not choose from what I favour equally across the board. I treasure Him and love Him. That is enough....
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1 comment:
Sometimes I hear in colour, at times I see the music in a riot of notes, plucked strings, bent airwaves. And when you speak to me, it all comes together in a mad symphony that pours through my fingers, just as my heart bleeds for you every moment.
There are days when the frustration of not being able to touch you, grates like a file deep upon this weathered soul. I squint hard to capture every plane of your beautiful face, each movement of your lips as it presents itself within the confines of this tiny window. I struggle to catch every nuance of your voice, the timbre of your soft laugh as, amidst the jargle of crackles, hisses and pops. I yearn to hold your hand and walk down the street, proud to have you by my side for the world to see.
Anxiety and longing control my moods sometimes. Happiness and love always pulls me through. Thank you for being you.
With all my love
~Dirk
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